SOME SCARY STORY-FOR ME AT LEAST

There was this guy who came to my church (Nigerian) last year Nov or Dec. He's been joining my sunday service since then. There was a watch nite (we pray and have fellowship, supper & etc) on 31 Dec 2005 at my pastor's house and he also came on that day.. i dunno how did he got my phone number and i dunno who gave it to him. he send me a msg on that day and wish me Happy New Year.

I thought it was ok... and then he called me 2 weeks ago.. i was a little surprise cause i dun expect him to call me. He told me he just want to call to say hi and he asked me whether i had my dinner and i said i'm going to have soon.. and i told him i was surprised that he called me. He said, "you shouldn't be surprise cause u know i had ur number.. You know i like you so i call you."

After hearing that i was "HUH??" (in my heart). i pretended that didn't hear him and said i'm going to have dinner already and i hung up...

2 days later he called me the second time, he said he wants to say hi again. and i was thinking in my heart (why is he calling so often). anyway being nice i said ,'Oh okay." (dunno what to say anymore cause getting little suspicious)He told me one thing that made my hairs stand, he said, "I can't see you smiling but i can hear u smiling. " I was like "HUH?, oh... hahahaha. " forcing a laugh... i try to hang up again by saying see him on sunday. I was a little scared already by that sentence.

At first i thought things will be better cause he didn't call me the 6th day. and then last wednesday the problem came. He send an sms to me on 1 sumthing in the morning. (That time i was rushing for my assignments so i read his msg). He said, "Hi baby (Jas: Oh pls... dun call me that), I have to tell you this because every day and night i have been thinking about u . i have to tell you that i love you... bla bla bla .. i need you always . bla bla bla..."

After reading it i was like, O M G !!!!!! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg.... he freaks me out... i dunno what he sees in me that attracts him.. but then i really am so afraid of him. I didn't reply him straight cause i was nearly had a stoke ... -_-"

Luckily i had finished and was printing my assignment at that moment. if not i think my assignment will be in a mess... I didn't had much sleep cause i dunno how to reject him. anyway the next morning i know i had to tell him straight. i don't want to have him misunderstand anymore. I replied to him early in the morning, "i'm so sorry, i can't accept you. I dun have feelings for you. i hope you understand. We can only be NORMAL friends. So sorry."

Later he replied me but then my inbox is too full so i can't read the text... Should i be grateful..? it might be kind words and might be words that scolding me... ahh... nvm lar... i dun want to know what he replied also..

somehow he didn't appear this sunday. so i guess he don't dare to face me also... And then i told one of my church fren and she said that his visa is expired soon so he's going back liao.. so i dun have to worry anymore lor... aiyaya.. really scare me leh... thank God that he didn't come on sunday if not i will try to avoid him lor... The nightmare is over liao... YEAH !!!! have a good nite sleep.. :)

DON'T BE SELFISH

I'm sure a lot of ppl should have heard this sentence before... and the answer from them will be, "Who don't?" Sometimes ppl do things just because they think about themselves only. they had never thought of others might be affected by their decision. issit so hard to think for others as well.... hmm.. sometimes

The level of selfishness also varies from different ppl who have different view... well to me i will have to use an example:

If you have a family member, whom they do things that made you worried.. sometimes i think these kind of ppl they are selfish.. they never thought that their family members will be worried about them.. when the family asked them about their problems they will just say, "Just leave me be... I know what I'm doing." If asked too many question they will say, "Why can't u trust me more" or "You don't trust me at all" . Asking question doesn't always means distrust.. it also means care.... why can't just this ppl understand... maybe i'm not in their shoes so i can't understand them.. but why can't they think back in their family members shoe... ergg...

This sentence "Just leave me be, I know what i'm doing". I think this word is being very rude and being selfish.. If you know ur family member is in trouble how could u just leave them be. How can you ask them to shut up when they are worried about you... Sometimes its hard to even give them advice if you are younger then them.

I just think that they should be more thoughtful of what they are going to do. They just can't be selfish and do the things that they like and will cause the family member to be worried. It is really a torture to the family members to see them doing the wrong things and yet couldn't do anything.

You may think that ur family didn't know what you are doing but sometimes u may be wrong. Just don't do something that will hurt them and worries them... I dunno whether i'm one of those ppl... but i guess at least i dun cause my family to worry about me yet.... I think... (at least mom hasn't started to question me a lot of things)

I just wish that anyone of u out there will just think twive before you do something that might hurt others.... I would rather sacrifice myself then to let others be hurt because of me... It's just what i felt. I'm not saying i'm holy or great or anything. Don't misunderstand me...

John 13:34-35 And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples."

Start to love ppl out there and slowly throw away the selfishness... others might be selfish to you but you don't have to be the same... It's is easier to love than to hate.... I understand sometimes some ppl you will find it hard to like them.. but then try ur best.... i'm trying my best as well... ;)

DECISION MADE ..... (PHEW)

Okay, just decided to further my degreee.. hmmm... maybe because that I not so confident to take up CIMA yet and summore it only offer partime classes at nite.. i've been thru partime classes b4 and find it quite tiring... hmmm.... maybe some other ppl can do it.. i guess it's not me... one experience is enug... bleh :p

I thought that i'm going to have a few months hols b4 i could decide what to do next after my diploma but then ... it just happen that i heard from my college mates saying that there is a submission date for the degree course and i dun have to wait till July only can start class... the college is offering a march intake class... well i guess it's not that bad.. so i dun really have a whole 3-4 months to wonder what should i be doing...

Actually, Louisa (my new pastor's wife), had approached me to ask me to join the bible study in her home church.. and i was still thinking about it... i find it very interesting though but then i had a problem with transport and all that.... i just hope one day i'll be able to buy a car for myself and i'll have to take up my driving skills again.. so i dun have to worry about transport anymore... talk is much easier than action though.... Oh God help me....

Anyway I just hope that my decision is not wrong.. i guess i'll just do the CIMA when i'm working next time... just hope that my family is still able to support me in my studies.. This degree costs about 15k .... not really a very big or small amount either.. hmmm... Just pray that Lord will help me financially as well...

A student PSALM - LOL funny

The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not flunk;

He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.

He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a study break;

He restores my faith in study guides.

He leads me to better study habitsFor my grades' sake.

Yea, tho' I walk through the valley of borderline grades,I will not have a nervous breakdown;

For Thou art with me;

My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.

Thou givest me the answers in moments of blankness;

Thou anointest my head with understanding,

My test paper runneth over with questions I recognize.

Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow me

All the days of examinations;

And I shall not have to dwell in this university

Forever!

Amen!

Worry too much

Sometimes human does worry too much. Different people will have their own worries. Maybe something to someone it's something small and not to be worried about but it might be something big for another person.

As for me, I do worry about my things too. My future, my studies, my salary, my bonus. Sometimes I also wonder what the Lord has planned for me. About the plan God has for me, I heard from ppl say that we shouldn't be worried about it cause it's something that God has already plan for you and the things He plan is always the best for you and He will not do things to harm you. Sometimes I also wonder whether I'm capable of fulfilling the will He has for me but then another answer came to me is that God seek for availability and not ability. Is trully that I shouldn't be worried so much and I had started to obey first and let God worry for me. hehehe... Many ppl pray for me about it (the plan) already and trully I had seek God for His word. Still the worry is still there.. hahaha (also heard from a preacher said b4 that, if you fear God you will not worry anymore)

Last month as I was at the LRT station day dreaming, suddenly my eyes caught up with a mommy who's with a boy and a girl. I could have guess that the boy is sick cause he is having a flu and the girl is having a cough. The boy was sitting on the mommy's right and the girl is lying down on the mommy's left lap. The little boy was sleeping with his pillow and suddenly he move around cause i guess he is not comfortable with his sleeping position. He tried to put his legs up on the seat and then put it back down. He tried to lean on the mommy and that doesn't make him comfortable. At last he starts grumbling and the mommy saw him moving non-stop, she carry him onto her lap and let him lean on her chest. The boy continue to move on the mommy's lap try to get the best sleeping position he could. The mommy try to help him and finally he boy is so pissed off he let out a cry.. the mommy then hush him and hold him.. then the boy continue to sleep.

This incident makes me feel so warm. Somehow it reflects to me how sometimes I behave like the little boy againts the Lord. When I'm not comfortable or unhappy keep myself quiet and grumble and grumble. But Lord will always be there to comfort me and try to heal my broken heart.

That nite i had a prayer meeting. As the topic is ask us to spend some quiet time and listen to God. And somehow the picture of the LRT incident flows back to my mind. As I was thinking about the plan that God has for me and worrying about my future, I sense that God is telling me to not worry. He will take care of my needs and that He will ask me to just lay down in His hand so that He can comfort me. I cried well a little. And felt that the burden that had kept in my heart for a few week has been lifted. Surely God is a burden lifter.. hahaha...

Mat 11:28-30 'Come to me, all you who are weary adn burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'

Whenever I read these verses I felt comfort in my heart. Serving the Lord is something that is not a burden but I'm glad that I am able to serve Him.

Car Accident

This early morning around 8.10, as my mom was dropping me at the lrt station. We saw a car accident happen. We were actually at a cross junction near my house area. My mom was talking to me and waiting for the road to be clear so that she can turn out to the main road.

As she was continuing her convo with me, we saw a kancil was coming over at the left side and a wira coming from the right side. suddenly the wira turn and bang on the kancil's driver side. the impact was so big that i heard a loud bang and tyre screeching though i'm inside the car. i also saw the kancil driver (man) whole body jump up. the kancil had a passenger (lady). As for the wira i saw there was only one guy in the car.

After seeing the accident for about 10 seconds the two car remain unmoved and my mom come to her senses and cross the road cause i will be late if my mom busy body summore. My mom was telling me that the wira driver must be dreaming when he's driving. cause my mom said that suppose the wira doesn't have to turn so fast because there was no other car following the kancil's back. so the wira should wait till the kancil to pass by only turn. luckily my mom was busy talking to me.. if not it could be a 3 car bang.

This is the first time i saw a direct accident in front of me. I had seen a few accidents before but this is the biggest one. hopefully i dun have to witness anymore accidents.

After the accident, i ask my mom to keep her mouth shut and concentrate on her driving.. hahaha... maybe i'm a bit shocked as well. really i was awaken by the early bang.